I came across this illustration and when researched further, saw it was a pattern from 1980. It reminded me of something my great-grandmother would make for me, thus the post today.
Her name was Lucy, for whom my Mom is named after. We all called her Mama, and still do. She passed away at the age of 89 in August 1982 when I was 12 years old and away at camp. It was a church music camp on a college campus and at that time of the day we were offsite for a special concert. Quietly during the program, a counselor had pulled me aside and taken me back to the college office where my Dad would be calling to tell me further what was going on. I can see that room and me standing there on the phone as if from the hallway as it all happened. So crystal clear still now. I remember breaking down and crying so hard and feeling bad that I was getting the office phone so wet with my tears. It was a very difficult thing for me because I remember being so overwhelmed with grief but then so sad that I had to leave camp. What is that? Thinking about it many, many times through the years since, I wished I hadn't felt that way. But a kid is a kid ~ I was having a blast at camp and then had to leave. I guess that guilt will be with me always.
Mama lived in North Carolina so the next few days of getting back home and then down there seem a blur. The next memory is the funeral and the first time when hearing
Amazing Grace made me sob. My grandmother used to record me singing and send the cassettes to Mama and Amazing Grace was one of the songs. Since Mama's funeral, I can't hear or sing the song without being transported to that first time it made me so emotional. It has remained a favorite hymn ever since. I'm sure you know the powerful hymn and the words can echo through your soul. When Ben was little, he would question why I always cried in church so much and when he was older I explained about the Holy Ghost and then he would ask if I had enough kleenex in my purse on Sunday mornings.
When I was growing up and we'd visit Mama she would make
these amazing banana muffins. She'd double the batch and have them in a huge Currier & Ives tin. I have this distant memory of getting out of the car and running through the house to where they'd be. I've lost track of how many times I've made them and while they're outstanding muffins, Mama made them the best. I am sure you have a family recipe like that ... where the baker's love is just one of the ingredients and you'll never get it no matter how much love of your own you put in. There was always dessert after dinner at Mama's house ... be it ice cream or my favorite choice, these muffins. She'd put one on a plate, give me a child's size fork, and I'd sit on one of her red velvet covered stools at the low marble top coffee table and eat ever so delicately while we all watched Lawrence Welk.
I think Mama was the first Martha Stewart. She could cook and bake like nobody's business and could sew anything. She made me pretty dresses and bonnets and even clothes for my barbies. She gave me money every year for a Madame Alexander doll which I had such fun picking out for my own. This is one of the bonnets Mama made for me. I don't have any little girls around the house, just 2 precious funny monkeys, but maybe one day I'll have a grandddaughter that can play dress up with this bonnet.
A few years after Mama's death and I don't even know how long it really was, be it the next year or 5 years later but I had a more than vivid dream of her. It remains as clear as day and I cherish it greatly because I know she did come to me in it. My grandmother, Mom and I were shopping in a favorite department store. I was looking at something in the jewelry case and Mama was there, just standing there next to me. She told me to come with her and we were going to shop. (The four of us had wonderful shopping adventures when I was little.) I was elated and so excited that she was there that I wanted to tell Mom. Mama kept insisting that I come with her and that it was just our time to shop together but I kept wanting to tell Mom, knowing how thrilled she too would be to see Mama again. I ran off to do that. When I got back, Mama was gone. She never came to me in a dream again.
In the meanwhile, I've had some beautiful dreams where my grandfather, who passed away in 1999, three months before Ben was born, appears as if at the right time, when he needs to. When I need him to. God moves in mysterious ways.
.............................
Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound,
That saved a wretch like me.
I once was lost but now am found,
Was blind, but now I see.
T'was Grace that taught my heart to fear.
And Grace, my fears relieved.
How precious did that Grace appear
The hour I first believed.
Through many dangers, toils and snares
I have already come;
'Tis Grace that brought me safe thus far
and Grace will lead me home.
The Lord has promised good to me.
His word my hope secures.
He will my shield and portion be,
As long as life endures.
Yea, when this flesh and heart shall fail,
And mortal life shall cease,
I shall possess within the veil,
A life of joy and peace.
When we've been here ten thousand years
Bright shining as the sun.
We've no less days to sing God's praise
Than when we've first begun.
Yes, me ... the crazed looking mother in Target today with the 2 boys, big and little. One was madly playing his DS while taking the cart away from me so he could zoom through the aisles and the other one who was begging to look at the musical cards. I could not get out of the store fast enough and it still seemed like forever in there. Usually I don't mind a Target trip .... remember, I'm me, but today, 97 degrees, one week until school begins, my nerves shot ... it wasn't a merry journey.
